Sunday 10 July 2011
Coming Out... to Yourself
So yesterday afternoon I unexpectedly found myself in a situation where a group of strangers (though now I would consider them friends) shared some of the most intimate stories of their lives, particularly around the issue of coming out.
I didn't exactly share my "coming out story", per se. Not that I haven't had the experience of telling pals that when I think that someone like Leighton Meester is so beautiful, I actually mean that I think she's REALLY HOT AND I DESIRE TO SLEEP WITH HER (Would you say no to her? I didn't think so). But kidding aside, I have had those conversations where I tell an old friend that I like guys & gals, and they go "are you sure" or "how do you know" or "is it just a phase?", and you say "thanks for still being my friend", while secretly thinking: "Yes I'm sure, how do YOU know you're straight, of course it's not a phase, argh why don't you understand you ignorant shit?!?". (Umm...sorry...residual anger management issues...).
But this is what I shared instead, and it's the story that when I first moved to my current city, I actually consciously contemplated living a completely "straight" lifestyle and forgoing the part of myself that's queer (and fabulous!). I grew up in a conservative part of my country, in a family with traditional values, so in some ways it made sense to me to just take the easy road and live a plain, conventional, heteronormative life.
Yeah, this thought lasted about a week until I saw how many gorgeous girls there are on the city, and realized that I can't simply hide an entire part of my personality and who I am.
In short, my sexuality is a work in progress. But isn't everyone's? The thing that I've come to accept is that no matter how difficult or challenging it may be, I want to be genuine and live an authentic life. (Now was that last bit too corny, or would it make an impression on you if I met you while out and about? ;))
Bottom line: it's been much easier connecting with women since I've acepted that this is who I am, and how I am. It's scary sometimes, but I think it's the only way to really live. At the end of the day, we only live once, and we can only live for ourselves. And everyone deserves to be loved for who they are.
So ladies - if you're reading this, then be true to yourselves. Allow yourself to be afraid of what may come, but overcome the fear with resilience and courage. I know you can do it and I'm rooting for you. Give me a shout if you ever want to chat, cause you're not alone in this world and I for one am on your side.
I didn't exactly share my "coming out story", per se. Not that I haven't had the experience of telling pals that when I think that someone like Leighton Meester is so beautiful, I actually mean that I think she's REALLY HOT AND I DESIRE TO SLEEP WITH HER (Would you say no to her? I didn't think so). But kidding aside, I have had those conversations where I tell an old friend that I like guys & gals, and they go "are you sure" or "how do you know" or "is it just a phase?", and you say "thanks for still being my friend", while secretly thinking: "Yes I'm sure, how do YOU know you're straight, of course it's not a phase, argh why don't you understand you ignorant shit?!?". (Umm...sorry...residual anger management issues...).
But this is what I shared instead, and it's the story that when I first moved to my current city, I actually consciously contemplated living a completely "straight" lifestyle and forgoing the part of myself that's queer (and fabulous!). I grew up in a conservative part of my country, in a family with traditional values, so in some ways it made sense to me to just take the easy road and live a plain, conventional, heteronormative life.
Yeah, this thought lasted about a week until I saw how many gorgeous girls there are on the city, and realized that I can't simply hide an entire part of my personality and who I am.
In short, my sexuality is a work in progress. But isn't everyone's? The thing that I've come to accept is that no matter how difficult or challenging it may be, I want to be genuine and live an authentic life. (Now was that last bit too corny, or would it make an impression on you if I met you while out and about? ;))
Bottom line: it's been much easier connecting with women since I've acepted that this is who I am, and how I am. It's scary sometimes, but I think it's the only way to really live. At the end of the day, we only live once, and we can only live for ourselves. And everyone deserves to be loved for who they are.
So ladies - if you're reading this, then be true to yourselves. Allow yourself to be afraid of what may come, but overcome the fear with resilience and courage. I know you can do it and I'm rooting for you. Give me a shout if you ever want to chat, cause you're not alone in this world and I for one am on your side.
Friday 8 July 2011
Making a Connection
I'm now going to tell you my favourite personal pick-up story. And then I'm going to ask you to share yours. So get ready, cause here goes:
It was a cold January night, but I was hyped up to go clubbing with this crew that I sometimes hang out with. It had been a while since I'd been out and about in the les-bi scene, and being recently single, I was ready to have a wicked, regrettable, alcohol-infused time. My gut feeling told me that this would be a good night, and I was right.
While lining up at the front of the straight-turned-gay-for-the-night club that was our crew's destination (and this was a real line-up, not the artificial kind that's just meant to make a club *look* busy when inside it's dead), I saw this pretty Asian lady wearing a one-of-a-kind kind of jacket. Words cannot do it justice. Let's just say it was an unforgettable item of clothing.
So of course, I had to compliment this sexy girl on her jacket. I struck up the conversation, and before I knew it, we were chatting away at the coat check. And what were we talking about? Well...she wanted to know what I did, so I made her guess my job (and kudos to you, reader, if you can guess it too, even though I've given you no hints). In fact, she loved that I'm a ________.
What next? Well, I certainly couldn't have her get bored of me too quickly. So I told her, soon after we had both paid far too much just to get into the club and secure our coats, that I'd catch her later.
After a bit of time and a few drinks had gone by, I did see this girl again by the bar. And wouldn't you know - she called me over and bought me a drink. Bonus points for her - I'm always flattered and amused if femme girls buy me drinks when I'm looking more butch (I can dress either way, depending on my mood).
And you know what else is fun? Dancing at a club (pet peeve - chicks who go to a club and don't dance there. Why the hell are they there? Let go of your inhibitions a bit, girls!). So I took her by the hand, pulled her onto the dance floor, and got her to loosen up a bit.
The pivotal moment came when we had been dancing for a while, and I knew she was into me from the way she was letting me put my hands all over her (you always have to see how far you can go, I figure). So I said, with just the right amount of cockiness, "You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?". Of course she was. And I gave her what she wanted.
Before the end of the night, I grabbed her number using a technique that's worked for me before (reach for the girl's phone, say "Let me give you my number", input my number into her phone, and then have her do the same with my phone). And before she left the club with her friends, I made sure to text her a nice-yet-naughty message. Game, set, and match right there.
...
Oh yeah, finished off the night by spontaneously getting into a limo with my crew, and making out with a former hook-up in that group before finally making it home somehow. Just by myself, mind you, but nothing wrong with that after a night of feeling like hot shit ;).
You may be wondering how things turned out with this girl with the fabulous jacket? Well that's a story for another time.
Now tell us about your favourite pick-up memory...?
It was a cold January night, but I was hyped up to go clubbing with this crew that I sometimes hang out with. It had been a while since I'd been out and about in the les-bi scene, and being recently single, I was ready to have a wicked, regrettable, alcohol-infused time. My gut feeling told me that this would be a good night, and I was right.
While lining up at the front of the straight-turned-gay-for-the-night club that was our crew's destination (and this was a real line-up, not the artificial kind that's just meant to make a club *look* busy when inside it's dead), I saw this pretty Asian lady wearing a one-of-a-kind kind of jacket. Words cannot do it justice. Let's just say it was an unforgettable item of clothing.
So of course, I had to compliment this sexy girl on her jacket. I struck up the conversation, and before I knew it, we were chatting away at the coat check. And what were we talking about? Well...she wanted to know what I did, so I made her guess my job (and kudos to you, reader, if you can guess it too, even though I've given you no hints). In fact, she loved that I'm a ________.
What next? Well, I certainly couldn't have her get bored of me too quickly. So I told her, soon after we had both paid far too much just to get into the club and secure our coats, that I'd catch her later.
After a bit of time and a few drinks had gone by, I did see this girl again by the bar. And wouldn't you know - she called me over and bought me a drink. Bonus points for her - I'm always flattered and amused if femme girls buy me drinks when I'm looking more butch (I can dress either way, depending on my mood).
And you know what else is fun? Dancing at a club (pet peeve - chicks who go to a club and don't dance there. Why the hell are they there? Let go of your inhibitions a bit, girls!). So I took her by the hand, pulled her onto the dance floor, and got her to loosen up a bit.
The pivotal moment came when we had been dancing for a while, and I knew she was into me from the way she was letting me put my hands all over her (you always have to see how far you can go, I figure). So I said, with just the right amount of cockiness, "You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?". Of course she was. And I gave her what she wanted.
Before the end of the night, I grabbed her number using a technique that's worked for me before (reach for the girl's phone, say "Let me give you my number", input my number into her phone, and then have her do the same with my phone). And before she left the club with her friends, I made sure to text her a nice-yet-naughty message. Game, set, and match right there.
...
Oh yeah, finished off the night by spontaneously getting into a limo with my crew, and making out with a former hook-up in that group before finally making it home somehow. Just by myself, mind you, but nothing wrong with that after a night of feeling like hot shit ;).
You may be wondering how things turned out with this girl with the fabulous jacket? Well that's a story for another time.
Now tell us about your favourite pick-up memory...?
Getting Your Attention
Welcome. I'm sincerely glad you could join me.
And what is this? It's hard to say exactly. But for now, let's say that it will be a place where I give my honest thoughts (and if you're offended, then I'll consider myself to have done a good job). It will be a place where I give you my tips and advice and suggestions about dating, sex, and life (and you can use your brain to decide whether you want to follow them). And it will be a place where women of all backgrounds can come together to bond over a very special topic: sexy girls.
Now, I'm no expert on hooking up or having a relationship or being in love. In fact, my exes might say that I'm terrible at those things (okay, not so much the hooking up part, they liked that). But I have had a lot of experiences in life, and I have a lot of things running around in my mind all the time, and I want to share them all with you.
And who am I? For now, you can call me Rogue (and don't confuse me with the X-Men version, though I would say she's pretty damn hot). I'm a professional in my mid-20s living in a major city on the west coast of North America. I'm not 100% gay, but I'm gay enough to have had plenty of ladies coming and going in my life (it's always funner when they're coming, though ;)).
I'm not at a point in my life where I'm looking for "the one". I'm too afraid of commitment, too focused on my career, and too emotionally immature to be able to be the kind of girlfriend that a lovely lady deserves. But that doesn't mean that I'm not in the mood to meet, date, and bed beautiful women. The only question is: will I be able to do that?
Join me over the next while, and we'll find out.
And what is this? It's hard to say exactly. But for now, let's say that it will be a place where I give my honest thoughts (and if you're offended, then I'll consider myself to have done a good job). It will be a place where I give you my tips and advice and suggestions about dating, sex, and life (and you can use your brain to decide whether you want to follow them). And it will be a place where women of all backgrounds can come together to bond over a very special topic: sexy girls.
Now, I'm no expert on hooking up or having a relationship or being in love. In fact, my exes might say that I'm terrible at those things (okay, not so much the hooking up part, they liked that). But I have had a lot of experiences in life, and I have a lot of things running around in my mind all the time, and I want to share them all with you.
And who am I? For now, you can call me Rogue (and don't confuse me with the X-Men version, though I would say she's pretty damn hot). I'm a professional in my mid-20s living in a major city on the west coast of North America. I'm not 100% gay, but I'm gay enough to have had plenty of ladies coming and going in my life (it's always funner when they're coming, though ;)).
I'm not at a point in my life where I'm looking for "the one". I'm too afraid of commitment, too focused on my career, and too emotionally immature to be able to be the kind of girlfriend that a lovely lady deserves. But that doesn't mean that I'm not in the mood to meet, date, and bed beautiful women. The only question is: will I be able to do that?
Join me over the next while, and we'll find out.
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